Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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