So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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