Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
