just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
