I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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