Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
false alarm. still invincible.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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