Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize