Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
