Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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