Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize