i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
