Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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