There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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