I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
