As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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