I accidentally burped into my bong.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
