I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
