Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
