Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She announced her abortion via fbk
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
