Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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