So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize