Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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