I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
