And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
