What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
