your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
