its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
