i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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