after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
