white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
