nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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