normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
