Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
