i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Randomize
