I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
