My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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