she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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