I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize