is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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