i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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