Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
