May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
