As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She's the barista slut.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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