These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
