The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Fuck appropriateness.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
