the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize