I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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