I hate all girls vehemently.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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