32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
