Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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