I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
