I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Randomize
